SNIPPETS

MAY 24,  2010

LAS VEGAS, May 23 (UPI) -- Nevada residents voting in the state's upcoming primary election have been told wearing chicken suits to the polling places will not be allowed, officials said.

I'm so glad this great national problem has finally been solved.

MAY 23,  2010

NEW DELHI, May 21 (UPI) -- New Delhi police said thieves are pouring sleep-inducing gas into air conditioning units to knock out homeowners during burglaries.  Investigators said the thieves pour the gas into the window-mounted units, which fan air through wet grass, and wait for homeowners to fall asleep before relieving them of their valuables, Sky News reported Friday.

These Indians are becoming increasingly ingenious.  Our thieves had better catch up.

MAY 22,  2010

From The New York Times:  LONDON — John Shepherd-Barron, a Scotsman credited with inventing the automated teller machine in the 1960s, died on Saturday in Scotland. He was 84 and lived in Portmahomack, a Scottish coastal town.

At his funeral he will be shoved into a slot, and someone will press CANCEL.

MAY 21,  2010

From the distinguished intellect and senator, the Democrat Ben Nelson of Nebraska: "I go and get my own seating assignment on an airplane. I mean, I'm not without some skills. I just haven't had the need to use an ATM."

Wrong.  As a Democrat, Nelson has used an ATM many times.  It's called the American taxpayer.